What are the Roots of Anxiety?
Written by Montana Squires
Edited by Hannah Poe Klaassen, M.S., LPC, NCC, RYT-200
Anxiety is an important emotion. It protects us from dangerous situations. But what if anxiety is overwhelming for you, or you’re unsure of why you are feeling anxious? Let's take a look at this handy tool, the feelings wheel! I love the feelings wheel, because it’s a great example of the interconnectedness of our emotions. So if we dive into the section of the feelings wheel labeled fear, we see the following emotions connected to it: rejected, threatened, anxious, scared, insecure, weak, and rejected. These are all scary experiences and our body wants to protect us from them. Our brain screams out in fear and worry: “You're jeopardizing our future or our safety!”
For example, let’s say that over the course of the year you meet with your boss 4 times to talk about your development in the company. The first 2 meetings go well, but the 3rd meeting follows a mistake you made. Your normally calm boss goes into a temper tantrum where there is shouting and belittling: “If your performance doesn’t change and if this mistake happens again you’re going to be fired!” You walk out of that meeting feeling embarrassed and made to feel small at work. When you go into that 4th meeting, your body isn’t necessarily going to bring the first two meetings that went well to your attention. Your body brings the most recent meeting where things have gone incredibly poorly because it was scary, uncomfortable, and frankly, disrespectful.
The core of anxiety, in this instance, is rooted in the negative experience of having a hotheaded boss come down on a mistake in a harsh manner. The memory of having a hotheaded boss single out a mistake in a harsh manner is the root of anxiety in this instance. Your hot headed boss yelling at you for a mistake is where your anxiety is rooted. This makes it hard to notice how you’ve grown and see how you could have a meeting that goes well. You might go into this meeting with a clear conscious knowing you have adjusted and have had stellar performance to round out the year, but the anxiety is still there because your body is trying to warn you about the potential danger. As a counselor, I love using the feelings wheel to get to the root of the issue that my client is struggling with, and putting words to their lived experience so that they can better understand their experience of emotions and gain greater insight into how they want to interact with the world going forward.
Working with a counselor is a great way to uncover the iceberg that is anxiety, and understanding your experience of anxiety is a path forward to getting it back into a manageable state so that you can live your best life. Click here to book a 15 minute consultation with myself or one of our other great therapists. Not sure how to choose a therapist, check out our guide on How to Find a Counselor in Denton, TX.
